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The politicians get prettier at closing time?

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Ever hear the old saying that was incorporated into a country song that says the girls all look better at closin’ time? It reminds me of the slow dance Boehner and Obama are doing as they dance ever closer to the looming fiscal cliff.

Claiming stalemate, both dancers shuffle to the steady rhythm of the talking heads on both extreme wings of the political parties.

In this case each dancer hears a different song; Boehner hears strains of Tea Party Tears, an updated version of Cry Me a River by that hot country cult duo Karl Rove and Mitch McConnell, who recently joined forces to form the group calling itself The Negatives.

President Obama is doing a lively Texas two-step to a sweltering liberal version of When the Saints Go Marching In by that hot new recording group, People Speak.

Since neither dancer will agree to lead, they move sideways crablike ever nearer the exit. A large clock over the bar reads 2:29 a.m. — a minute to closing time.

I imagine Boehner leaning in, closer, with tears streaming from his eyes as he finally speaks truth to power. The president looks shocked as a smile sneaks across his normally stoic facade.

The music stops abruptly to the clank of empty mugs and bottles being cleared from the bar and tossed unceremoniously into the trash can or sink; the lights dim.

Our dancers are in a frenzied discussion at the door, still trying to decide who leads, who goes first.

In desperation, they force them selves through the exit together, still recalcitrant, still unable to achieve agreement.

Sound like a Saturday Night Live skit? My apologies to all songwriters, singers, groups and bars.

B.J. Gillum
Rockwood