A view from Lick Skillet by Gerald Largen

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Rejoice! Election promises Paradise for us

Gentle reader, in recent days we have encountered several of our friends who have borne upon their countenance a cast of gloom, a depressed and downcast expression prompted by the outcome of the recent election.
We have told them, and we now tell you, that this is not the proper set of mind; no, we say that this is a time of celebration for all good patriots, for the day of our national redemption is surely at hand.
Why say you this, you may ask. Well it is simple really.
All the winners of the Republican persuasion, ably abetted by their brethren of the Tea Party passion, have assured us, nay they have solemnly promised us, that there are many good and great things which they are going to make happen.
And, as Bill Shakespeare had Mark Antony declare in his funeral oration over the assassinated Julius Caesar (Act III, Scene II):
“For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men, —”
And, we doubt not, so are these Republican and Tea Party spokesmen all, all honourable men, not men of deceit nor deception.
This being so they will not have misled us, nor lied to us, nor told us anything that honourable men would not tell us, so we believe them, these honourable men.
They all tell us that they will balance the budget.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us they will eliminate the national debt.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us they will eliminate the deficit.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us that they will eliminate unemployment.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us that they will repeal Obamacare and enact real health care reform.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us they will cut the size of government.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us that they will take our government back and reclaim it from its evil ways and restore it to the ancient and honourable paths of righteousness.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
They tell us they will reduce taxes.
They are honourable men and we believe them.
In short, they promise us nirvana, political paradise, the Land of Hope and Glory of which our British cousins sometimes sing.
And they are honourable men and we believe them.
It will be wonderful!
So, prepare to march resolutely out of this slough of despond, desperation, and despair into the sunlight of gladness and glee as we all enter this glorious Promised Land!
Of course we must be aware that just as every cloud is reputed to have a silver lining, so too every silver lining must perforce have its own cloud.
The cloud overshadowing this glistening, gleaming silver lining is the fact that this new paradisical state must be accomplished in no less than 14 months, 17 months at the most.
This is the consequence of the new order instituted by our honourable men, enforced by them in the past election, and adopted by the citizenry as the new paradigm.
After all, the odious Obama was graciously given about this amount of time to save the economy, eliminate unemployment, stop deficit spending, pay off the national debt, and solve the illegal immigration imbroglio, all while fighting two wars, reforming health care, reestablishing rules to govern the finance and banking community, saving the national auto industry, and reforming educational institutions.
But, never fear, the honourable men have told us that he should have handled all these matters in the alloted time, with the implied promise that they could have done so, and now they promise that they will do so, and, as they are indeed honourable men, we believe them; don’t you?
And should they perchance fail, then next election in 2012, out they go.
So, ring the bells of joy, strike the harp of happiness, and sing out in peals of Hossanah.
As the song adopted by Franklin Delano Roosevelt for his anthem tells us — “Happy Days Are Here Again!” Somebody say Amen! Hallelujah!
On the local scene, although Miss Julia C. Hurley is younger and a right-smart prettier than state Rep. Dennis Ferguson, and may prove to be a greater asset to Roane County than Dennis has been, we cannot envy her in her efforts to do so.
There are few groups, and not that many individuals, for whom Dennis in his many years of service has not done some favour or exerted some effort to aid or assist, so that his are mighty big shoes to fill.
Thus, like her namesake in the series of comic novels by Ann B. Ross, or Miss Julia Sugarbaker of the old TV series, Designing Women, our Miss Julia will have to exercise all her native ingenuity, and possibly even her womanly wiles to see that the people of Roane County continue to have the high level of representation that Dennis has provided for so many years.
The mere name of Miss Julia may give her a leg up, as names and nicknames have been a political resource to many politicians such as “The Kingfish” — Huey Long — and “The Veep” — Alben Barkley — not to mention our own “Miss Anna Belle” — Anna Belle Clement O’Brien.
So, we wish her well in her efforts to represent us, all of us, not just the ones who supported her, or who also belong to the Republican Party.
She must now be the voice of all Roane County, and all Roane Countians, in Nashville, and we assume she will be.
As to Rep. Ferguson, we thank him for his years of service to this county and its citizenry, and we wish him well in what ever efforts he may undertake in future.
We bid him farewell with this scriptural benediction: “Well done, thou good and faithful Servant.”